Thank you for sharing this Ethan. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s weird because I’m the same age as her and grew up watching her tv shows and movies. My sisters love her! I’m glad I’ve been a fan of you since mall rats and glad you’re here alive today sharing your memories. Even if those memories are scary… just know that you’re needed in this world. I hope you feel better.. just give it time.
The lightness she brought to everybody seems to be a consistent theme. I’m glad she brought light to you that challenging night. Perhaps you can preserve just that memory, her light and how happy she was to see you, in your heart.
Been a rough summer. Got 7 years clean and sober back in April. Lost a sponsee and 4 other guys this summer out here West TX. I think the best way to deal is to think on the good times they had and share those with their loved ones. Thanks for doing that.
Don't know why some of get to be the lucky ones, perhaps we were just demoralized enough to really give up. Either way I'm grateful.
When I heard about this last night, you popped into my head because I know you dealt with these issues, and I knew you had worked together all those years ago. It is a very sad thing.
Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for your memories. It may not seem like it, but you help us all heal with a glimpse into your life, and you paid beautiful homage to everyone who lost the battle, by continuing on and remembering them.
Thank you for sharing that Ethan, I know you will probably never read this, because why would a famous person like you take the time to read all of the comments on their sub stack? But I wanted to speak my mind anyways, so here goes.
I never understood that you struggled, in fact, I've seen you as a bit character in so many movies, that I guess I assumed that you were unbothered by your weight (and to be clear, I was never bothered by your way, I never judged you on it, because you are an exceptional actor and a wonderful human being, and I judge a person on who they are, not how they appear). That's the problem, we assume as the viewers that when we see an actor regardless of how they look, what their weight is, how old or young they are, or how many movies or TV shows they've been in, we make the assumption that they understand that we see them as unobtainable, as unreachable. We see them as above us the normal people, and so we elevate them to the status of demigods. But in doing so we forgot that they are still human beings, that even demigods had moments of fear self-hatred and doubt in which they needed to reaffirm that they are a person worthy of love and acceptance no matter their appearance, success, age, or gender.
So it was with Hayden, I thought she is so young and beautiful, she has a wonderful 11 year old child in her life, she's been able to break free from abusive relationships, she's been an advocate for voting rights and registration, and she has touched so many lives in her acting career. Certainly she must have enough self-worth to get through every day without feeling a sense of loneliness and self-hatred so strong that she resorts to self-medicating to escape those feelings? Clearly she did not, and I know I'm probably making judgment here because, cardiac arrest from an overdose, it may very well have been accidental, but so often it is not, and I know she has struggled herself in the past. It hurts so much as a fan of hers over the years (I knew her as Claire Bennett, the indestructible cheerleader from Heroes) to see the story of their death this way. Wishing to have ever met them, feeling like they were only ever above me and would never have anything to do with me as a friend, and as a fan, but wishing nonetheless that I could have been her friend, that I could have been that person she could call on when she felt so low. But why would someone as beautiful and successful as her ever talk to someone like me? To her celebrity, I was the boy in the first episode of heroes who recorded her exploits on their digital camera, I just assume I'm invisible to her, that she would never talk to me. But that hope was always there, a fantasy that such a beautiful successful person would associate with someone like me, a nobody.
I suppose the same goes for you Ethan, if you ever read this. I've loved you and everything I've seen you in, you were my favorite character as Randy in My name is Earl (I saw myself in Randy), but I also loved spotting you later when I rewatch movies like American History x, Mallrats, and Dogma(probably your shittiest role IMHO, pun intended). So I see you succeeding, building such a huge resume of TV shows and movies that I make that unsafe assumption that you must know that you are successful, that you are admired and loved. At least I did make that assumption, but now I'm not. I'm here to tell you that, I've loved you in every shape, and every movie, you've always represented that awkward person who doesn't know how wonderful they are, how much they have to contribute to the world, and that is what I've loved about you, that I saw myself in you. And for that I'm grateful. Not just because you displayed that awkwardness, that lack of self assuredness that I had and still sometimes have, but that you had and exhibited that genuine empathy for those like you.
So if you ever feel like no one could possibly care about you Ethan, please know that there's at least one person here who does and will, if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, to reach out. I know you've worked so hard to get to where you are now, and I love that you are able to share your vulnerability and your story with us. So thank you for being you, no matter what the you looks like that is presented. You don't have to be buff to be loved and adored by your fans, and hopefully your friends too.
Oh my goodness! Thank you! And thanks for all of the wonderful memories, as many of my favorite movies and shows wouldn't be the same without your contribution!
I have reread this over and over again. There is something to be said for that feeling of “I went to bed believing I wouldn’t wake up, and that didn’t seem so bad.”
Thanks for sharing this beautiful moment that had darkness in between. But beautiful moments do carry dark moments. The noble battle is always ongoing. Thanks for the read. And we feel the lost, too. Mr. Suplee, keep spreading love, support, and hope. We need more voices like you.
Wow Ethan, thank you for sharing with us.
Powerful!! Thank you for sharing this story. Thankful you’re still here to share your stories and your success!! 💛
Thank you for sharing this Ethan. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s weird because I’m the same age as her and grew up watching her tv shows and movies. My sisters love her! I’m glad I’ve been a fan of you since mall rats and glad you’re here alive today sharing your memories. Even if those memories are scary… just know that you’re needed in this world. I hope you feel better.. just give it time.
Profound read.
The lightness she brought to everybody seems to be a consistent theme. I’m glad she brought light to you that challenging night. Perhaps you can preserve just that memory, her light and how happy she was to see you, in your heart.
I met her in February at Scaradise. She was a sweetheart. So sad. RIP and condolences to her family.
Been a rough summer. Got 7 years clean and sober back in April. Lost a sponsee and 4 other guys this summer out here West TX. I think the best way to deal is to think on the good times they had and share those with their loved ones. Thanks for doing that.
Don't know why some of get to be the lucky ones, perhaps we were just demoralized enough to really give up. Either way I'm grateful.
When I heard about this last night, you popped into my head because I know you dealt with these issues, and I knew you had worked together all those years ago. It is a very sad thing.
Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for your memories. It may not seem like it, but you help us all heal with a glimpse into your life, and you paid beautiful homage to everyone who lost the battle, by continuing on and remembering them.
So sorry to hear this today. Thank you for writing about it.
Thank you for sharing that Ethan, I know you will probably never read this, because why would a famous person like you take the time to read all of the comments on their sub stack? But I wanted to speak my mind anyways, so here goes.
I never understood that you struggled, in fact, I've seen you as a bit character in so many movies, that I guess I assumed that you were unbothered by your weight (and to be clear, I was never bothered by your way, I never judged you on it, because you are an exceptional actor and a wonderful human being, and I judge a person on who they are, not how they appear). That's the problem, we assume as the viewers that when we see an actor regardless of how they look, what their weight is, how old or young they are, or how many movies or TV shows they've been in, we make the assumption that they understand that we see them as unobtainable, as unreachable. We see them as above us the normal people, and so we elevate them to the status of demigods. But in doing so we forgot that they are still human beings, that even demigods had moments of fear self-hatred and doubt in which they needed to reaffirm that they are a person worthy of love and acceptance no matter their appearance, success, age, or gender.
So it was with Hayden, I thought she is so young and beautiful, she has a wonderful 11 year old child in her life, she's been able to break free from abusive relationships, she's been an advocate for voting rights and registration, and she has touched so many lives in her acting career. Certainly she must have enough self-worth to get through every day without feeling a sense of loneliness and self-hatred so strong that she resorts to self-medicating to escape those feelings? Clearly she did not, and I know I'm probably making judgment here because, cardiac arrest from an overdose, it may very well have been accidental, but so often it is not, and I know she has struggled herself in the past. It hurts so much as a fan of hers over the years (I knew her as Claire Bennett, the indestructible cheerleader from Heroes) to see the story of their death this way. Wishing to have ever met them, feeling like they were only ever above me and would never have anything to do with me as a friend, and as a fan, but wishing nonetheless that I could have been her friend, that I could have been that person she could call on when she felt so low. But why would someone as beautiful and successful as her ever talk to someone like me? To her celebrity, I was the boy in the first episode of heroes who recorded her exploits on their digital camera, I just assume I'm invisible to her, that she would never talk to me. But that hope was always there, a fantasy that such a beautiful successful person would associate with someone like me, a nobody.
I suppose the same goes for you Ethan, if you ever read this. I've loved you and everything I've seen you in, you were my favorite character as Randy in My name is Earl (I saw myself in Randy), but I also loved spotting you later when I rewatch movies like American History x, Mallrats, and Dogma(probably your shittiest role IMHO, pun intended). So I see you succeeding, building such a huge resume of TV shows and movies that I make that unsafe assumption that you must know that you are successful, that you are admired and loved. At least I did make that assumption, but now I'm not. I'm here to tell you that, I've loved you in every shape, and every movie, you've always represented that awkward person who doesn't know how wonderful they are, how much they have to contribute to the world, and that is what I've loved about you, that I saw myself in you. And for that I'm grateful. Not just because you displayed that awkwardness, that lack of self assuredness that I had and still sometimes have, but that you had and exhibited that genuine empathy for those like you.
So if you ever feel like no one could possibly care about you Ethan, please know that there's at least one person here who does and will, if you ever feel the need to talk to someone, to reach out. I know you've worked so hard to get to where you are now, and I love that you are able to share your vulnerability and your story with us. So thank you for being you, no matter what the you looks like that is presented. You don't have to be buff to be loved and adored by your fans, and hopefully your friends too.
Thank you Geraldine. For reading what I wrote and for understanding it.
I appreciate it very much.
I can feel your empathy and am better for it.
Thank you
Oh my goodness! Thank you! And thanks for all of the wonderful memories, as many of my favorite movies and shows wouldn't be the same without your contribution!
I have reread this over and over again. There is something to be said for that feeling of “I went to bed believing I wouldn’t wake up, and that didn’t seem so bad.”
Thanks for sharing this beautiful moment that had darkness in between. But beautiful moments do carry dark moments. The noble battle is always ongoing. Thanks for the read. And we feel the lost, too. Mr. Suplee, keep spreading love, support, and hope. We need more voices like you.
🩶 Thank you for sharing, surviving and sorry for your loss, grief. 🥹❤️🙏🏾
The final line of this brought me to my knees. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing, mate. I genuinely hope you’ve got some moments of joy in your life. Best, J 🙏